As I distilled and thought about the massive assault of words that came my way, I began to understand the fear. The idea is this. If men aren’t in charge, then the home will disintegrate, society will crumble, the women will take over, the kids will rebel, and the woman will become a manipulative, domineering shrew. Some have gone so far as to say that the man must remain in charge (according to Gen. 3:16) to keep the woman from messing up creation again. My response is this, “I thought that you married a Christian.” But that falls on ears as deaf as the ears of the Pharisees in Jesus’ time. The natural religion is hard to get out of a heart.
Since man fell in the Garden of Eden, we’ve been in trouble. We are a weak and foolish species without power to stand even for a moment.
We have all sorts of reasons to fear. We fear enemies, we fear pain, we fear loss of identity. But usually these are the wrong things. There is only one problem with all of mankind. Our sins have separated us from God.
But it is even worse than that. There are many who will freely confess that our sins have separated us from God, but they still believe that they can do something about that. We’ll just try harder. We’ll offer the right sacrifices. We’ll separate ourselves from bad influences.
But sin lies in the heart of men. It is so ugly, so ingrained, so deep in our hearts that there is and always has been only one solution. The Son of God suffered and died in our place. The problem is that we are all under the penalty of eternal death, and there isn’t a thing that we can do about it.
And you hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins; 2 Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience: 3 Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others.1 4 But God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, 5 Even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ, (by grace ye are saved;)1 6 And hath raised us up together, and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus: (Eph 2:1 KJV)
This is the Gospel. We were dead in trespasses and sins, but God has made us alive in Christ. He died in our place, that we might be raised to a new life.
This shocks and stuns the natural man. It is repugnant to everything we hold dear. Our natural religion states that we have to DO something.
We as Christians confess that our salvation is the free gift of God, and that our righteousness can only ever be the imputed righteousness of Christ, but we still have the remnants of our flesh that cling to us. So often, I present the gospel. I speak of the glorious, free salvation that we have in Christ. And there are always those who will forever repeat, “But we still have to keep the law, though…right?”
How do you answer that? No. The gospel doesn’t make us lawless. The gospel establishes the law. The gospel is about a change of nature. The gospel is about the law written on the heart, not tables of stone. The gospel is about becoming new creatures, new trees, that no longer bear thorns and thistles, but fruit. Fruit of love and joy and peace and longsuffering.
Isn’t it beautiful and wonderful! Our salvation freely and perfectly provided for us in Christ.
And yet, there’s that critic again. “But we still have to keep the law, right? What will happen if we quit telling people what to do? Our kids will be out of control. Society will crumble. People will live just like animals. We aren’t lawless. Those gay fellows, and those gangsters and those Syrian refugees and those Moslems need to be told what to do. What we need is stronger laws!” These are the church leaders that monitor skirt lengths, talk about what to watch on TV, speak incessantly about man-made rules that can never ease the weight of sin. And we do it because we are afraid. And we are afraid because we don’t believe that the Holy Spirit can actually change a heart.
20 Wherefore if ye be dead with Christ from the rudiments of the world, why, as though living in the world, are ye subject to ordinances,1
21 (Touch not; taste not; handle not;
22 Which all are to perish with the using;) after the commandments and doctrines of men?
23 Which things have indeed a shew of wisdom in will worship, and humility, and neglecting of the body; not in any honour to the satisfying of the flesh.1 (Col 2:20-23 KJV)
Paul is saying that all of these things look very good and holy. They look like they have such a zeal for righteousness. But they are of no value in the subduing of the works of the flesh.
I would submit to you that the repeated question, “But the husband is still in charge, right?” is of the same caliber. It shows a total lack of the understanding of the dynamics of love, and is of no value to peace of the home. It also cannot be answered satisfactorily from the perspective of the gospel-driven home.
Do I mean by this that the husband has no authority? Of course not. I mean that the question becomes irrelevant in a home ruled by love, just as the questions concerning which laws you have to keep become completely irrelevant in a heart ruled by the gospel. The law in a gospel-ruled heart is kept out of love, not coercion. And service in a gospel-ruled home runs on the same principle. This is why Paul said that the husband is to LOVE the wife, as Christ loved the church, not rule over the wife as Moses ruled over Israel.
Before Christ came into the world, God gave Israel the perfect code of law. He enforced it Himself on tables of stone, thundering from Mt. Sinai. All Israel heard the voice of God from the top of the mountain. And within days they were dancing around a golden calf.
“Righteousness never comes by the law.”
Ever. Can’t happen.