If someone’s life is already full of unwitting cultural liturgical practices, then why would our default be to offer a pick-and-mix set of other liturgical practices to slot into the increasingly narrow timeframes? That’s a recipe for frustration and busy-ness for churches.

That is the #1 question newcomers ask when wondering if they should stop off at your church.

Sometimes they’re asking: How can I be involved? Often they’re asking: How can I belong?

Community groups, Bible study groups, growth groups, small groups, youth groups, men’s groups, women’s groups etc.  The more outwardly focussed might ask about evangelism teams or community service teams.

Pastors – especially pastors –  feel the pressure at this point, and have a default answer designed to pull the person further in.

We start listing programs, events, activities, hoping to see that glimmer in the newcomer’s eyes.

We’re trying to give the impression:

“We’re on to this.  We’re not just what you see in front of you, cos there weren’t many here today/the music wasn’t great/ the sermon was too long.  We’ve got something for you that might make you stick.”

How about we don’t make that first cab off the rank?  How about instead we take a deep breath, press the pause button, and reframe the conversation?  How about we ask this:

Before I answer that, tell me what else you have on in the week? Before I give you a list of what else we do in the week, how about you come back next week with a list of what your average week looks like?  And then we can take it from there.

The newcomer is first and foremost a worshipper – a person committed to “cultural liturgical practises”, as James Smith would say.

The newcomer is only a newcomer to us.  They are a full-formed creature of habit already, shaped by, and shaped towards certain desires and practices.

And the practices of their lives outside of this one Sunday they turned up at your church; the places they frequent; the people they spend time with; the way they shape their week; how they spend their money; all indicate what they love, what they desire.

You need to know, first, what they are committed to and towards which things they will give the bulk of their time and attention.  And, more importantly, what they consider to be negotiable liturgical practices and what are non-negotiable liturgical practices.

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