A Pastoral Letter to Myself (In the Case that I Fall)

If you should sin in such a way that you are no longer qualified to serve in pastoral ministry, please put the following counsel in practice

“Your repentance should be as public as your sin (not in the sense of parading it, but in the sense of making it evident); and, if at some point you have a public platform of which people outside your local church are aware and talking about your sin, it may need to be addressed in an open forum. Otherwise, shut down your social media accounts.”

 

Dear Self,

You’re much weaker than you think. Remember that Scripture says, “Let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall” (1 Corinthians 10:12). It’s easy to look at men who have fallen in ministry with a hint of disgust and harsh judgment when they don’t simply disappear. But, let’s be honest; you know how much you would struggle to fade away from public life if the same thing happened to you. Pernicious pride is always lingering within. God-forbid that this letter ever becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy; but if it should, pursue humility, accountability and godliness. By God’s grace, diligently pursue repentance and holiness. If you should sin in such a way that you are no longer qualified to serve in pastoral ministry, please put the following counsel in practice:

1. Remember that you only have yourself to blame.

Ever since the garden, man instinctively seeks to shift blame on others for his sin. You’re like your father, Adam. Remember the way in which he sought to blame even God for giving him Eve; and, remember how he blamed Eve for giving him the fruit (Genesis 3:12)? Guard against the temptation to blame others for your own sin. As a Christian, you are not obligated to sin; and, when you do sin, it is a willful transgression against the Law of God. No one else made you sin. Now you must own it. You’re not helping anything by scandalously blaming others, publicly exposing them, and ensuring they take a fall with you. If someone else was involved in your sin, there are appropriate means that God has appointed for dealing with them, and you are not part of it now. Repent! Begin working through a process of spiritual restoration. Trust the Lord and His church to rightly handle others.

2. Stay off of public platforms.

Your repentance should be as public as your sin (not in the sense of parading it, but in the sense of making it evident); and, if at some point you have a public platform of which people outside your local church are aware and talking about your sin, it may need to be addressed in an open forum. Otherwise, shut down your social media accounts, don’t write posts for ex-pastor blogs, and don’t try to find ways to turn your fall into a method of gaining fans and followers. Your friends and counselors may not be willing to tell you this, so I will. You have brought shame to the name of Christ and His Church. You have violated the 3rd commandment (Exodus 20:7). The grace of God is so profound and rich that you’re not beyond forgiveness and restoration, but that doesn’t negate the fact that your sin has consequences. Whatever public ministry you had before has been lost at present…and rightfully so! The world doesn’t need you; and, it certainly doesn’t need you to start a new blog detailing your recovery process or to write a book about the sordid details of your fall. They surely don’t need daily Tweets of your glimpses of hope in the midst of the darkness of your rebellion. From the dust you came, and to the dust you shall return. You are far from being as great and necessary as you think. Know that truth about yourself and act on it appropriately.

3. Be honest and get pastoral help.

It’s going to be tough to admit to another pastor that you need his counseling because you’ve spent so much of your life counseling others. Remember, it’s the same pride that got you into this mess that will keep you from getting the help you need. You’ve never been surprised by the sin of other Christians, so why do you think one of your friends will be surprised by yours? Find a man you respect and love, sit with him and let him pour into your life. You need his counsel, so be honest. What led to your fall? What changes have you made? What’s going on in your heart? If you can’t be honest and receive counsel, you still haven’t reached the end of yourself–you’re still living upon your own self-righteousness. Give it up now and trust God’s appointed ministers to help you. You’ll be exceedingly thankful that you did so, in the end.

4. Rediscover the power of the ordinary means of grace.

Up until this point in your life, you’ve never met a man who fell in ministry who was making good use of the means of grace. They’re simple means. You talk about them all the time. You know from your own experiences how wonderfully transformative and powerful they can be. But, you allowed yourself to get too busy with ministry over the years. You got distracted, off track and started using the Bible as a preaching manual, first and foremost, instead of the truth that you are to always love, behold, and apply. Prayer became non-existent for you; worshipping with the saints became a chore; and, partaking of the Lord’s Supper has of recent years been merely a ritual. Now it’s time to transform your schedule and your habits to make use of the means of grace. You know what to do, so do it. God promises to be there when you arrive; and, while your salvation was all of God, your communion with Him depends in large part upon your willingness to engage in the relationship.

Read More