I can’t. That’s the whole point of the Gospel! The harder I try to do what I need to do, the more my mind turns to a chaos and confusion of fear and distress and the more tempted I am to escape into passion and lust, into appetites for things that only harm me. Jesus did. Jesus is. That’s the whole point of the Gospel!
The Gospel is not another set of expectations.
I am 41 years old and I am so often burned out and overburdened by all of the expectations I constantly fail to meet. I am not the husband I know I should be, that my wife needs me to be, that I am called by God’s word to be. I am not the father my children need. The list of husband and father duties I fail to meet every day can sometimes weigh so heavily on me that I don’t even want to get out of bed. Of course, this just leads to more frustration over more failure.
When I go to work, I meet with other expectations I am failing to fulfill. I forget something my boss has asked me to do. I disappoint a parent by not getting back to her quickly enough. I frustrate teachers by not handling details or needs sufficiently.
This is not a hypothetical illustration to set up some clever Gospel message. This is my life, far too often.
The worst thing I do is then take my own frustrations over my failure to meet expectations and project that onto those around me. I put expectations on my wife that she cannot meet, which cause me to resent her. I put expectations on my kids- expectations I don’t meet myself. Somehow I think that if I can force them to meet them, I’ll be happier. I go to work and put expectations on students – behave, dress correctly, do your best, be successful, achieve, believe. Believe? Yes, I can even make the Gospel into another set of expectations.
I am one week away from completing my latest read-through-the-Bible-in-a-year plan. (Yes, I started it in June.) I have diligently made sure to make up any missed days quickly, which my handy phone app makes so much easier. But how often have I treated my time in God’s Word as another expectation I need to meet? It makes me feel good because it’s one of the few things in my life that I can see clearly I am accomplishing. Finally, an expectation I am meeting!
The Gospel is not another set of expectations.
“Come unto Me, all you who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30
Jesus calls us to rest. Jesus did not call out from the cross, “Now do this!” He cried, “It is finished!”
Last night, as I was feeling overwhelmed yet again with the sense of disappointment and failure over unmet expectations (I really thought I would be better than this by age 41), God got my attention with this –
“By beholding the glory of Christ by faith we shall find rest to our souls. Our minds are apt to be filled with troubles, fears, cares, dangers, distresses, ungoverned passions and lusts. By these our thoughts are filled with chaos, darkness and confusion. But where the soul is fixed on the glory of Christ then the mind finds rest and peace for ‘to be spiritually minded is peace’ (Rom. 8:6). – John Owen, The Glory of Christ, by R.J.K. Law, Banner of Truth, pp 8-9.
I can’t. That’s the whole point of the Gospel! The harder I try to do what I need to do, the more my mind turns to a chaos and confusion of fear and distress and the more tempted I am to escape into passion and lust, into appetites for things that only harm me.
Jesus did. Jesus is. That’s the whole point of the Gospel!
I too often want people to think that I have it – wisdom, eloquence, virtue, competence, compassion, skill, character, whatever. I don’t. Jesus does. I can’t. Jesus has. I won’t. Jesus always will.
It is “Christ in you, the hope of glory.” – Col. 1:27
I don’t need to defend myself, explain myself, justify myself, vindicate myself, prove myself, advance myself or improve myself. I can’t. Why would I even want to? I have a glorious, all-sufficient, unfailing Savior and Lord who has saved me, who is saving me, who will save me and who will never give up and never fail.
And so I run to Jesus, again.
This is why all self-centered boasting is removed in the Gospel. This is why we can only boast in the cross of Christ. This is why “I have been crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. This life, which I now live in this body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for Me. I do not nullify the grace of God! For if righteousness could be achieved by the law, then Christ died for nothing.” – Gal. 2:20-21
Nothing in my hands I bring
Simply to the cross I cling
Foul I to the fountain fly
Wash me Savior or I die! – “Rock of Ages” by Augustus Toplady
Jason A. Van Bemmel is a Teaching Elder in the Presbyterian Church in America. This article appeared on his blog Ponderings of a Pilgrim Pastor and is used with permission.