An Anonymous Story from a Pastor’s Wife

I don’t think even our best friends who know much of what we have gone through have even an inkling of the pain we have experienced

We have found out that because of budget shortfalls, we will again not receive a cost of living raise.  This has been the case for many years (I’m not revealing how many years without a raise in hopes that other churches will think I am writing about THEIR church). Why are we to “trust God for our finances” but the church is not willing to “trust God for the finances needed for ministry”?

 

I wrote this last week to our church family – but of course, I’m not going to share it with them. I just found your website and thought I would send this along to you.

Dear Church of Little Faith:

My husband has faithfully served you for many, many years. It has been the best of times and the worst of times. We have been through rapid growth and rapid decline, building programs, staff changes, and hundreds of weddings, funerals, and potlucks!

We have raised our kids in this church and have intentionally shielded them from many of the difficult times. We want them to love the church as Christ’s body but now that they are adults we realize that they knew much more about the hurts and have all turned to very different churches or no church at all.

And now, it’s November and we just experienced “Pastor Appreciation Month.”  October has always felt like such a hard month for us. There is some kind of token word of appreciation but it does not translate to the rest of the year.

We have found out that because of budget shortfalls, we will again not receive a cost of living raise.  This has been the case for many years (I’m not revealing how many years without a raise in hopes that other churches will think I am writing about THEIR church). Why are we to “trust God for our finances” but the church is not willing to “trust God for the finances needed for ministry”?

We often feel like Moses wandering in the wilderness with a multitude of griping, gossiping, and grumbling from the congregation, but thankfully, no sand or desert! If the church is doing great it is “because the members are working so hard” and if the church is struggling it is “because the pastors are not doing enough.”

We are often tired, discouraged, and feel the weight of your unrealistic expectations, your gossiping assumptions, and other negativity.  BUT GOD: is faithful, true, loving, kind, encouraging, and did I mention, faithful? 

When we feel the triple D’s of doubt, discouragement, and despondency God is faithful to remind us of his Delight, Dedication, and Desires.  Another pastor recently asked my husband how often he has resigned in his mind, and it is often.

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