10 Reasons Why I’ve Decided To Become Pro-Choice

A satirical look at being pro-choice

Allowing hunters safe and affordable access to lions liberates and empowers the hunters. For far too long they have been oppressed and I will not sit quietly while hunterphobes try turning the clock on hunting rights back a hundred years.

1). Although I am personally opposed to the practice, I do not want to impose my moral values upon others. So if someone else wants to hunt lions, then who am I to judge? My motto is: If you don’t like lion killing, then don’t kill one.

2). It’s clear that laws against lion hunting won’t stop lion hunting. It will only make lion hunting dangerous for the hunters because banning lion hunting will drive hunters into back jungles to seek unsafe hunting. We do not want to return to “back alley” hunting.

3). Anti-choicers sit atop their moral pedestals and dictate that others shouldn’t have safe and affordable access to lion hunting, proving they only care about lions and not the hunters.

4). What’s the harm? Lions are only blobs of tissue, cells, muscles, and skin. It’s just like killing a cockroach.

5). Lion hunting should be “safe, legal, and rare.” But in those cases when a lion is killed, just think of all the good things that come from its death. Just think of all the research that could be done with the lion’s harvested organs. Anti-choicers only care about lions, not the countless people who could benefit from the stem-cell research done on the harvested lion’s organs.

6). Most people who are against lion hunting are not hunters, and therefore, should have no say in this debate. If you’ve never been faced with a fierce lion before, you have no right to an opinion in this matter.

7). Allowing hunters safe and affordable access to lions liberates and empowers the hunters. For far too long they have been oppressed and I will not sit quietly while hunterphobes try turning the clock on hunting rights back a hundred years.

8). Tax dollars should be used to fund poor lion hunters so they have the same access to lion hunting as the rich.

9). Lion hunting is simply the playing out of the survival of the fittest. Darwin would be proud. Who are we to interfere?

10). Unless anti-choicers are willing to adopt every lion in the world, then they have no right to tell others that they can’t hunt them.

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